Always You
by platonicrelations06
Summary: Prompt from Tumblr: Can you write a story about Tony and Clay been in a relationship at middle school, but they broke up at the beginning of high school (for whatever reason you want), Tony gets jealous about Jeff and Hannah, Clay gets jealous of Ryan and Brad, and then all the situation with tapes happens and in the end they get back together.


**_Always you._**

 ** _Warning:_** _slight use of swear words._

 _A/N: Disclaimer. I do not own any part of 13 Reasons Why._

* * *

"You and Padilla used to date, right?"

Clay's hand stopped in its movement of tapping the uncapped pen almost instantly, his whole body going rigid as he allowed his brain to work over the question; once upon a time, he and Tony _had_ been a couple, the fact being pretty common knowledge around the whole of Liberty high. They were the only thing people had talked about for weeks upon making their relationship status public knowledge a few months into their dating life. Jeff knew this, Clay was sure of it, so why was he asking?

"Uh, yeah, why?" He managed to get out, forcing his head to look up from where he was reading through the older boy's work. He searched his friends face warily, allowing their eyes to meet as he looked for any indication that the other boy might be asking out of anything other than curiosity. He found none.

Jeff nodded his head, his own eyes roaming over the younger boy in return, concern flickering over his features. He had known the two boys past relationship would be a touchy subject, putting his own friendship with the pale boy at risk for even daring to bring it up, but he also saw the longing looks that Clay sent Tony's way and if the burning spot at the back of his head was anything to go by, Tony felt the same way. He just wanted to help.

"I think he still likes you- he keeps glaring daggers at me." Jeff informed his friend, sending an almost subconscious look over his shoulder, causing Clay to follow his gaze; Tony sat not a few tables over, his focus settled on whatever he had placed in front of him. For a moment, Clay had the fleeting thought that Tony had sat there on purpose, the younger boy being directly in his line of sight anytime he chose to look up, but Clay quickly pushed the idea away. Tony didn't like him like that, not anymore.

"What? Jeff, no." He argued vehemently, his gaze shifting back to look at the Jock. "He made his feelings _pretty f*cking clear_ when we broke up, okay?" The words came out a little harsher than intended and Clay instantly felt guilty when his friend flinched at them. He just couldn't allow himself the hope of Tony having left over feelings with the possibility of ever rekindling their relationship, the heartache of their breakup still presently there in his chest despite the amount of time that had passed.

He would never forget the words spoken between them _that_ night on their cliff- Tony taking a step back every time Clay had taken one forward. His whole frame had shook that night, tears streaking his face as he tried to understand just where they had gone wrong. In a last ditch attempt, Clay had poured out his whole heart in one single sentence: _"I love you, Tony."_ Only to have it crippled seconds later as the shorter boy didn't respond in kind, muttering instead: _"I'm sorry, Clay."_ Tony didn't love him and Clay thought, in that moment, he would've rather actually had his heart ripped out and torn to shreds. He had walked away after that, not wanting his boy- _ex-boyfriend_ to see him truly, completely and utterly shattered as he broke down.

"Tell that to the burning hole in the back of my head." Jeff's voice pulled him from his thoughts, the Jocks hand moving to rub at the back of his hair as if he could actually feel the sensation of burning there. "I kinda get why people don't like to mess with him now." He added nonchalantly, almost as an afterthought as he placed his arm back down by his side, his eyes once again taking in his friend s appearance. Maybe he'd save the matchmaking for another day.

"Can we just focus?" Clay huffed out, averting his gaze back to the work out in front of them, signalling the end to their conversation. Tony didn't love him, or like him for that matter; it just wasn't possible.

* * *

"Keep staring at him like that and he might just combust into a burst of flames." Tony startled at the voice, too dedicated to his glaring match with the back of Jeff's head to notice the new presence beside him. Composing himself, Tony swivelled his head to his right, scouting out the source of his disturbance; Skye stood not too far away from him, one of her eyebrows raised as a smirk settled onto her lips at her friends reaction.

"Good." Tony snapped out, trying to force his pounding heart to slow down; usually, he wasn't someone you could scare so easily. "Sorry." He almost immediately added, the apology clear in his eyes though his friend stood seemingly unphased by his outburst. It wasn't Skye he was p*ssed at, not even Jeff really, but himself.

If he was honest, he couldn't pinpoint an exact moment in time where he knew he was in love with Clay Jensen; there was no sudden light-bulb moment for him or any gradual figuring things out, it always just was- like he's always needed air to breathe, he's always loved Clay. Though, he'd resigned himself pretty early on in their friendship to the fact that it would stay just that: a friendship, and however much the thought hurt at times, Tony was okay with it, because the thought of no relationship at all with Clay hurt more.

So you could say he was a little more than pleasantly surprised when Clay had leaned over and kissed him that very first time, his lips soft and sweet. Tony could remember pulling away, his breath heavy as he leaned his forehead against Clay's, questioning: _"I thought you were straight?"_ The younger boy's cheeks had blushed a deep red, his lips pulling into an adorable half-smile as he responded: _"You're only half right."_ Tony's heart had fluttered, the puzzle pieces fitting together in his head as he tilted his head back slightly to re-capture the boy's lips in his own, sealing his own half of the promise made between them that night.

"Why don't you just go over there and talk to him?" Skye questioned him, dropping her bag to the floor rather unceremoniously as she pulled out the chair next to him, taking a seat and seemingly joining him in his task of staring out the back of Jeff's head (like any good friend would) though her own gaze was rather less intense.

Tony sighed, raking his hand through his hair frustratedly. "It's not that easy." He answered, shaking his head as he shifted his line of sight to quickly glance at his friend before allowing it to fall on his work laid out in front of him, no longer in the mood to try and set Jeff's head aflame.

When Tony had played the scenario in his head, working himself up to the moment he'd have to force himself to utter the words: _"We can't be together anymore, Clay."_ He'd never imagined how much he'd truly destroy Clay; he'd been expecting tears and confusion, shouting and anger, but not a shattered boy, shaking with heartbreak as tears steadily flowed down his face. It had taken all his strength to not tell Clay that he loved him too, more than he could ever know and that it was why they couldn't be together anymore, having to forcefully dig his feet into the ground so he wouldn't go after the younger boy as he stumbled away, devastated.

He doesn't think that he's ever hated anybody- not even himself -as much as he hated his brothers _that_ night on their cliff, their implications being the sole reason for his and Clay's breakup. It wasn't safe with the mess his brothers had caused lingering over their heads and Tony wouldn't, not for anything, put Clay at risk of coming to harm because of them- instead doing the harming himself. If he had to though, he d do it all over again, because an emotionally hurt Clay would always be a thousand times better than a physically dead one.

"It never is."

* * *

Clay didn't do it intentionally, but he couldn't help letting the Green-eyed Monster within him rear it's ugly head as he watched Ryan flirt with Tony at the Winter Formal, his eyes narrowing dangerously as the poet put his hands all over the shorter boy s chest. Was that really necessary? Tony was trying to do his job-

"You still like him." Hannah's voice cut through his inner musings, her hands gripping lightly at his shoulders as they swayed slowly together in time with the flow of the music. Clay had to force his body to relax at her statement, trying futilely to keep up with Hannah's movements as he hesitantly flickered his gaze back over to her, ashamed at having been caught; here he was dancing with a beautiful girl and all he could do was stare jealously at his ex-boyfriend. What was wrong with him?

"What?" Clay blurted out, unable to get his brain-to-mouth filter working properly as he stammered over his words, shaking his head insistently. "No, I just-" He tried to reason, but found himself stopping short- he was just what? Ensuring that the two boys at the DJ station kept it PG for everyone around them? Yeah right. Hannah's eyes bore into him knowingly.

Clay hated the way Tony could still make him feel. He hated the way his chest clenched and his heart fluttered at the sight of the older boy, the way that his stomach felt like a million butterflies whenever he heard the shorter boys voice, if even just for a moment and _god,_ he hated the way that just the slightest touch from the other boy could still make him melt. But as much as Clay hated these things, he just couldn't bring himself to hate Tony.

"Don't play dumb with me, Helmet." Hannah chided him playfully, pulling away from him as the first and hopefully last slow song of the night came to an end. As everyone around them started to dance more enthusiastically to the now upbeat music- distantly, in the back of his mind, Clay registered it be a song he knew, something Tony had on one of his more well played mixtapes- the both of them came to a stand-still, looking intently at the other; one set of eyes apologetic while the other held understanding.

"Hannah, I-" He began, wanting to explain himself and apologise, but was cut off by obnoxiously loud laughter coming from the right of them, leading them to turn their head simultaneously to find the cause of the interruption. Jess was leaning heavily against Justin, the Jock struggling to keep her up as they both laughed and stumbled, clearly wasted. They took a few seconds to right themselves before they were stumbling off again.

Hannah's hand coming to rest upon his upper arm brought his attention back to the stunning girl. Her eyes shone with nothing but warmth and reassurance as she looked at him. "It's okay, Clay." She told him softly, leaning in to leave a kiss on his cheek. "I should probably go and take care of Jess, though." She pointed over her shoulder and without waiting for a response, took her leave, searching for her wasted friend in the crowd of blurring dresses and tuxes.

Clay sighed, running a hand across his face. This was not how he had planned for his night to go. Sighing again, he forced himself to move back over in the direction of the bleachers instead of heading home himself, purposefully avoiding looking over at the DJ station, where he was sure he would find Ryan draping himself unnecessarily over Tony. Not that he cared, because he didn't.

* * *

Tony wasn't sure why he'd come to the party, not exactly being on friendly enough terms with anyone attending to properly mingle. Walking over to the drinks table, he absentmindedly poured himself another drink, allowing his eyes to wander over the occupants of the room; most people were already wasted, slurring their words together and stumbling as they tried to keep up with each other to dance. A few couples were pressed up against various objects, sloppily kissing their partners as they let their hands roam, while other small groups of people sat slightly separated from each other, immersed in their own drunken conversations and games.

Tony sighed, unable to spot what- _who_ -he was really looking for and brought his attention back to the red plastic cup in his hand as the liquid reached the top and spilt over the side slightly, trickling across his fingers. Ignoring the sticky feeling it left across his hand- he'd decided before arriving that he would only drink pop, having parked his Mustang a few blocks away to keep it out of sight of any stupid drunken teens -he brought the cup to his mouth and sipped at it slightly until it was safe to walk with, the possibility of it spilling again no longer a hazard.

Coming to a halt at his previous location, he tilted himself back until he was leaning comfortably against the wall behind him, once again taking in the people filling out the same space as him. His eyes shifted across to the stairs just in time to catch a glimpse of the only reason he'd shown up: Clay Jensen. A smile caught his lips at the sight of the other boy, taking in the way his shirt fitted to his body nicely, though as his eyes trailed up the younger boy s arm, the smile quickly dropped. Hannah Baker was attached to the other end of Clay's limb, clutching tightly to the pale boy s hand as she dragged him up the stairs. Realisation dawned on him as to why Clay was even heading up the stairs in the first place, causing his hand to impulsively tighten around his cup, the plastic crunching slightly in his palm.

"I'm sure they d be up for a threesome if you asked." A voice suddenly slurred next to him, the stench of alcohol filling his nostrils as he turned to face the new presence beside him. The obviously overly intoxicated male next to him had a Liberty High basketball jacket on, indicating to Tony that he was most likely a Jock.

 _"What?"_ Tony spat out incredulously, eyebrows arching up on his forehead at the statement, though he was more shocked at actually having been caught staring so desirably after Clay than he was by the Jock's- whose name escaped him -actual words.

"I'm just sayin' man, you're looking a little left out." The Jock laughed, clearly finding himself hilarious as he stumbled dangerously, holding his hands out in what Tony could only assume to be a gesture of surrender before he moved on his way, staggering into people and tripping over his own feet as he did so. Tony shook his head at the guy, unsure what to make of the encounter before he returned his gaze back towards the stairs. No sign of either Clay or Hannah. He tried pushing the thought away but couldn't help the familiar feeling growing in the pit of his stomach- the same one he d had with Jeff. Dropping his beverage in the nearest bin, Tony walked out of the party.

* * *

"Hannah." Clay mumbled flustered against Hannah's sloppy lips, trying to pull his head back from his friends grasp. "Hannah, stop." He added more forcefully, pushing his hands between them to coerce Hannah into letting go of him, breathing heavily in succession as he got their lips to detach while her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She lifted one of her arms, moving it to caress Clay's chest, quite clearly extremely drunk.

"You don't like me?" She questioned, hurt lacing her voice as her words slurred together, a pout forming on her lips. Clay grasped at her arm touching him, pulling it away from his chest so he could hold her hand instead, rubbing his thumb soothingly against her skin; the gesture was meant purely platonically, his only intention to reassure her as tears gathered in her eyes. The last thing he'd ever wanted to do was upset her- she was amazing and if circumstances could have been different, he was sure that he'd have found himself kissing her back instead of pushing her off.

"No, Hannah, I do, just-"

"Not like that." Hannah finished his sentence for him, realisation dawning across her features as she looked at him. "Because you love Tony." She finalised, her tears spilling down her cheeks. She pulled her hand from him to cover her face and though it took Clay a minute to realise it, he found that it was in embarrassment rather than hurt.

"Please just go, Clay." She muttered out from behind the cover of her hands, refusing to look at him; her only hope was that she was drunk enough that she wouldn't have to remember this in the morning, knowing that Clay was too much of a sweetheart to bring it up himself if she didn't.

"What? Hannah, no-" Clay began to protest, moving to rest a hand against her shoulder in a comforting manner. He couldn't just leave her in the state that she was in- completely wasted and upset, especially in a house full of just as drunk asshat teenagers. He wanted her to know that he didn't care, the whole thing having been a mistake based upon a drunken misunderstanding and that it didn't change anything between them; he didn't think of her any differently and he still loved her all the same, as a friend.

 _"GO CLAY!"_ She screamed at him, pushing his hand away before throwing her arm out in the general direction of the door harshly, her face streaked with black tinted tears. Clay startled at the outburst momentarily, unsure of himself as he stood there awkwardly; did he actually leave? Or did he stay? He was bound to just make things worse if he did though, having never been good with this kind of thing, or any kind of social interaction or communication full stop.

So he left.

* * *

The sudden hand waving in front of his face pulled him from his absent minded action of staring at the two boys sitting not too far from the counter, a different version of coffee in front of each of them as they appeared to be in deep conversation with the other. "Huh? Sorry, what?" He questioned Skye, turning his attention back towards his friend as she stood before him in her Monet's uniform.

"I was just asking if you wanted it to sit in or take out?" She queried, gesturing to where she could either fill out a ceramic or paper cup with his order, an amused smirk settling carelessly on her lips as an all knowing glint took place in her eyes. She waited patiently for him to take in her enquiry as his eyes flickered over both the cups slowly in his post-spaced-out brain.

"Oh, uh, take out please." He finally answered, sending a look back over at the table where Tony and Brad sat. There was no way he'd be able to get his heart to stop clenching painfully while his stomach did somersaults if he found somewhere to sit in the coffee shop, Tony only a few tables away from him.

After everything with the tapes, Tony had become his rock once again, despite Clay's resistance at first; he hadn't wanted to set himself up only to get hurt again, but Tony had come through for him every time he had needed the older boy, proving himself time and time again with a comforting embrace or a guiding hand. They were closer than ever, having managed to work through the kinks in their relationship enough to trust the other to drag them through the sh*t they were dealing with and get them through to the other side, not unscathed but in one piece. Unfortunately(?) along with every other feeling and thought he'd ever associated with Tony Padilla, the love and lust of it all came back too.

"You boys are gunna be the death of me." Skye sighed, rolling her eyes dramatically as she pushed a lid securely onto the top of his cup, swapping the finished product in her hand for the money in Clay's- there was only so many free drinks she could hand out to her friends without being fired. "I don't know why you don't just talk to him about how you feel." She added upon handing him his change, the coins cold in his hand.

"He's with Brad now." Clay shrugged, pocketing his change before taking a sip of the scalding drink, allowing it to burn the back of his throat as a distraction as he walked past Tony and Brad on his way out of the Cafe.

* * *

Tony cupped his hand around his beverage, watching as the steam slowly lifted from the depths of the dark liquid. It wasn't a particularly cold day, but for some reason he couldn't get his hands to stop shaking. "I'm sorry, Brad." He looked up from his mug, searching his (ex) partner's face carefully. There was no anger or betrayal on his features, only a slight sadness with a complete understanding. He didn't get it; if positions were reversed, he would've been p*ssed, angry and everything in between, but Brad was the epitome of calm.

"It's okay, Tony. I get it. We were only a filler for a few chapters of a whole book." The other boy responded, fiddling with his own mug of coffee as a distraction before lifting it to his lips to take a tentative sip. It didn't taste nearly as good as it usually did, but Brad put it down to the circumstances surrounding this particular visit and not the drink itself.

"I need you to know that you were never a rebound, or a way for me to forget about him, I really do like you." Tony replied softly, sincerity clear in his tone as he reached his hand across the table to take a hold of Brad's, his thumb moving gently to create soothing patterns against the other boy s skin. He couldn't help the feeling of guilt clawing at his stomach; he'd never set out to hurt the other boy, but it would seem that was all he had done. He really liked Brad and he was certain that if things could have been any different, he could've loved him too.

"I know, Tony." Brad nodded, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "It's really okay." He smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes and Tony could see the sadness lingering in it. The taller boy stood after a moment, feeling that there wasn't anything more to be said and reached into his back pocket to retrieve his wallet, pulling out enough money to pay for both of their barely touched drinks despite Tony's protests.

"Don't miss your chance, tell him how you feel before it's too late."

* * *

"Thank-you." Clay suddenly spoke up, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen between them while they watched the classic playing before them. "For everything. I know things were... not great between us for a while, but you were there for me when I really needed you and I honestly don't think I would've made it without you, and I also get that you have no obligation to me anymore-" Tony lent forward without a seconds thought, cutting off the younger boy's babbling instantly as their lips connected. Clay's brain takes a minute to catch up with the new development, his heart hammering in his chest before he manages to get his mouth to move, reciprocating the kiss.

Clay's lips were soft against his, his mouth tasting faintly of the popcorn they'd recently consumed while watching the movie distantly playing in the background. Their mouths moved in sync, slotting together perfectly as Tony slid his tongue across the bottom of Clay's lips, the other boy immediately granting him passage. The kiss was long and hard, passion and lust flying between the two.

"I should've done that ages ago." Tony murmured softly once they'd pulled apart, breathless. "I love you Clay Jensen." He allowed his forehead to rest against the younger boy's, unwilling to move away from him completely lest he wake up and the other boy not actually be there.

Clay smiled, his lips upturning adorably at the corners as he allowed Tony's words to wash over him. "I love you too, Tony Padilla." He declared after a moment, tilting his head back so their mouths could rejoin again, savouring the missed feeling.

Things were good. Things were perfect.

* * *

 _Comments are always appreciated! I hope you enjoyed :)_

 _Please feel free to point out any mistakes I might've made!_


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